Abiding

Almost thirty years ago, R.J. and I made some pretty important promises to each other. We said those traditional wedding vows: “I , Elizabeth, take you, Robert to be my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live, and thereto I pledge thee my troth.” (Yeah, we used the “old” words.) Being married to R.J. has been a joyful journey. I can’t imagine what my life would have been without his presence. Together, we have birthed four delightful children and raised them into adulthood. R.J. has nursed me through four pregnancies and three C-sections.  Oh, and don’t forget a gall bladder surgery that I had just before that became a laparoscopic procedure! Ouch! Every time I was down for the count, he lifted me up and took very good care of me.

Now it’s my turn to take good care of him, in sickness and in health. R.J. was just this week diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. This is not a journey he will be taking alone. We fit together and work together, no matter what. We still have some learning to do, but we met with the diabetic educator this week. R.J. started his medication (not insulin – a pill called Metformin) and has learned how to test and monitor his blood sugar.  Together, we are planning our menus and learning about starches and exchanges and portions. This is a learning process, and we are determined to be educated. We will meet with the dietitian in just a couple more weeks to go over menu planning for the dual needs of celiac and diabetes. I am sure it won’t always take two hours to do the weekly grocery shopping, as it did this weekend. We will know what the labels say without scrutinizing each one, and we will stop slowing down progress in the aisles of HyVee.

There are several ways to look at this diagnosis. We could feel discouraged or depressed and ask the question, “Why us?” Frankly, that is not an option for us. It serves no purpose and really, it might as well be us as anyone. We knew R.J. was at risk because of his family history and his diagnosis of celiac. So that’s that. Another reaction to this news might be to start borrowing tomorrow’s troubles and worrying about all the potential side effects this disease might have down the road. Of course, this is also counter productive, as worry and anxiety generally are. But beyond being unproductive, worry is also a denial of God’s sovereignty over today and tomorrow.  It is disobedience, and we will do our best not to walk down that road.

So what are we left with? I hope we will choose to abide in Christ’s love. That has been the theme for the small group bible study we have been doing this past year, and it is essential for us as we move forward with our new lifestyle. Merriam Webster online defines abide as follows:

transitive verb

1: to wait for : await

2 a : to endure without yielding : withstand

b : to bear patiently : tolerate

3: to accept without objection

intransitive verb

1: to remain stable or fixed in a state

2: to continue in a place

Each of those definitions hold a nuance of what I hope our journey will be. Heavenly Father, I pray that we will wait for You and let our lives unfold on Your timetable.  May we endure any bumps in the road without yielding to temptation, in order to withstand the journey ahead. May we bear patiently with each other and with the mysteries of diabetes. May we accept without objection what is, and not wonder about what might have been. Lord, help R.J. and me to remain stable and in a fixed state as we take one step at a time toward healthy living. And may we daily put ourselves in Your presence and remain in that place. We ask all these things in your Son’s precious name. Amen.

In the middle of all this craziness, we got a call saying my new ring was in and ready to be picked up.  You might remember the story of how the sapphire fell out of the ring that R.J. had given me about 27 years ago. I was minding my own business, doing some deep cleaning, when I noticed the stone was missing. We explored the option of replacing the stone, but all the prongs were worn off, so it would have been a costly endeavor to repair a ring that was not very expensive in the first place. We decided to go with a new ring instead. On Friday, I picked up the new ring, resized and ready for my finger. It sits right next to my 30-year-old wedding band. Something old and something new, blending together, one in yellow gold and one in white gold. It’s a fitting symbol for what married life is, what loving someone through all the bumps in the road means. Circumstances change, but the important thing is to keep on loving and hang on for the ride, no matter what. And did I mention how beautiful ride that is? I am incredibly blessed, and that is the truth.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:1-11