(Almost) Happy Birthday to Me!

Every year, around the time of my birthday, I like to write a blog. (Nobody panic. My birthday is still almost a week away.) As I was preparing this blog, I looked back at a few birthday blogs from previous years (2014, 2013, 2012). It was fun to read my thoughts from those years, and to see that most are still relevant. I still believe in the power of kindness to those suffering from depression and grief, of course. Those thoughts weighed heavily on my mind last year at this time. I still cherish memories of my childhood. Those were some delightful days! I still love fall. This season speaks my name in a way the other seasons do not. I love that we live in a place where we see the trees turn every year. I love the smell and the sight and the sound of fall. (I tend not to talk about the aftermath of fall, the grey desolation we see in late November, but even with that...fall still amazes me.) So what topic can I discuss, and not be repetitive?

I may have gotten my love of birthdays from my parents,
who never forgot how to celebrate them with lots of joy. (1992)

Well, maybe you should know about another of my loves. I love BIRTHDAYS! Some people try to skip the day, as if they can defy the aging process somehow by denying themselves a birthday celebration. Some people don’t like all the attention. Whether it is self-centered or not, I DO like all the attention. I think birthdays are wonderful. I like getting gifts, and the bigger the surprise, the better. I like getting cards and even (gasp) letters. I like the overflow of well-wishes that Facebook produces. I like getting together with family. I like eating cake (or brownies) and ice cream. I like it all! I think a big part of my love of birthdays is that I realize that each year is a gift from God. This past year has been a tough one, in many respects, but it is a gift nonetheless – a good and perfect gift from a loving Father.

My birthday seems as good a time as any to talk about the brevity of life here on earth. I am about to turn 56 years old. As far as I’m concerned, that seems crazy. Wasn’t it just a couple years ago that I was juggling three preschoolers and a kindergartner, attending MOPS, growing and learning with an amazing team of women with young families? Those years passed like a breath of wind. I feel privileged to get to celebrate this 56^th birthday, as there are those who walked this path with me who did not get 56 years. The thing is, we are not guaranteed any amount of birthdays. The longer I live, the more I understand the truth of this statement. I deeply miss a good many friends and family members whose days were fewer than what I have already lived. That part of aging hurts. There is an ache, a feeling of loss, an ever-present grief as we miss those friends and family who have gone on before us. This grieving is not trivial, and I think it produces in us a healthy longing for heaven.

If my life here on earth is brief, and if no one knows the number of days we have remaining, it seems reasonable that I should be intentional with the way I live my days. So instead of New Year’s Resolutions, this year I am going to try Birthday Resolutions. Here goes!

1.       I want to more fully embrace a consistent time of spiritual development.  This means that I need to devote time daily to prayer and Bible study, even during the school year. Every day means every day.

2.       I want to write more notes to people. I have fallen out of this habit, and I miss it. I think an attainable goal would be one or two per month, for starters, but hopefully I will increase to one per week. Look out! You never know if you might be a recipient.

3.       Ugh! This one is not all that spiritual, but I need to finish the cleaning endeavor I began this past summer. My basement still needs me….

There are many other goals I could add to this list, but I think I’ll start small and see how things go. I’ll let you know. In the meantime, here’s a poem that I wrote to celebrate this season of fall. What can I say? Some old habits die hard. But this poem is more than just a celebration of fall. It also acknowledges the difficult journey that some of my friends are traveling right this moment. I see your struggles, and I see your valor, and I see your faith in the midst of it all. I am praying for you. I love you. 

Autumn’s Hope

By Elizabeth Traff

Every sight I see

And every scent I smell

Reveals a message of change.

Autumn is rushing in,

Effortlessly pushing

Summer out of its way.

Its paintbrush touches every tree,

Producing a brilliant glow

All around us, everywhere!

The leaves fall, sometimes

One by one, sometimes

A whole tree at a time.

I know what is coming.

This season is methodical:

It seems to remove life

Everywhere it goes.

The flowers of summer curl up

And wither away to nothing.

The radiant leaves descend

To reveal sullen, bare branches.

The grass turns a darker green,

Then brown and lifeless.

The ground is briefly covered by

A colorful carpet of leaves

Which quickly dulls and fades.

The world becomes a blank slate

Of brown and grey and bitter winds.

What hope do we have,

In the face of this barrenness?

What joy can we find,

In the face of this emptiness?

The world around us looks like death;

But when you listen closely

You can hear it whisper, “Rest.”

There is hope in this

Autumnal respite.

There is joy in the

Rich texture and design

Of the journey through this season.

There is always hope,

Because we know of Spring.

We know the Creator

Of all the seasons and

Of all the beauty in this world.

We know Him, and He…

He knows us. Hope! Joy! Rest.

We find them all in Him,

Abundantly overflowing

Through every moment

And through every day

And through every season.

Thank Him. Love Him. Worship Him. Amen.