On Mental Health

This is the third anniversary of the day my father-in-law ended his life here on earth. He struggled with depression and was overwhelmed. We’ll never know if his decision was made in the desperation of a moment or after a lifetime of contemplation. What we do know is that he refused to acknowledge or treat his mental illness. On this day, I want to speak about the prevalence and magnitude of the impact that mental illness, in its many forms, has on our society.

The World Health Organization defines mental health as “a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.” Not bad, but I think I like my husband’s definition better: “Mental health is the ability to perceive reality accurately and respond to reality appropriately. Mentally healthy people may occasionally fail in those areas, but have the ability to succeed. Mentally ill people are physiologically or psychologically incapable of success in one or both of those areas.” (R.J. Traff) One of the nuances of mental illness is that the very disease you have may alter your thinking to the point where it prevents you from realizing you are sick. If you don’t know you are sick, you won’t receive treatment, and your illness may escalate. It can be a difficult cycle to break.

I am basically a mentally healthy person, but so many people whom I love dearly deal with one struggle or another just to live life from day to day. I watch, I pray, and I feel helpless. I will freely admit that I don’t know as much about mental illness as I should. I was pleased to be pointed to this resource from NAMI (the National Association on Mental Illness) just this past week. It discusses what to do if you know someone who struggles with mental illness. I hope you'll read it.

As I investigated different types of mental illnesses, or rather mental conditions (according to NAMI), I uncovered a few statistics that are worth sharing. “One in 5 adults experiences a mental health condition every year. One in 17 lives with a serious mental illness such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder….Half of mental health conditions begin by age 14, and 75% of mental health conditions develop by age 24.” With this degree of prevalence, why is there still a stigma attached to mental illness? There are so many things that can go wrong with the human mind: ADHD, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, depression, dissociative disorders, early psychosis and psychosis, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, and more. I don’t begin to understand them all, but I want to learn.

Sometimes my loved ones who suffer let me in, and sometimes they don’t. If I had a chance to hold the hand of each one, if they would let me in on their struggles, I would look them in the eyes and speak these words.

I don’t know how you feel, but I do know it’s hard. I want you to know that getting help – needing help – does not mean you are weak. Getting the help you need is courageous. And I understand that the help you are getting may not actually help you instantly. I know that you can’t just take a week’s course of antibiotics to clear things up. I’ll keep loving you through it all, no matter what.

I’m OK if it gets ugly, and I’m OK if it gets uncomfortable. Keep on communicating with me. Keep on working through the tough stuff. Keep on adjusting and changing and growing and being. I need you, and I will never stop needing you. Your life is essential in my life.

Talk.

Complain.

Swear.

Scream.

Cry.

I won’t love seeing your pain, but I will love you. 

Always.