It's Only a Season

Yesterday marked the beginning of meteorological fall. I have seen a few orange leaves here and there. The temperatures are getting cool overnight most nights. The season is definitely beginning to change.

I love fall and everything that goes with it, but I know that not everyone does. It is the beginning of the end of the warm temperatures, the green grass, the flowers, and the foliage. I like the bright colors, the musty smells, and the crisp air, but I understand those who see it as an ending to the things they love. I get it. Change is not always pleasant or positive.

Fall can be glorious in its colors!

The colors of fall fade to grey & white...

The season of winter can be relentless in its onslaught.

Spring melts the snow and brings new life.

Summer brings long hot days and recreation.

We use the term "seasons" to describe the phases of our lives. Every life is filled with them: seasons of rest and seasons of busyness; seasons of joy and seasons of sorrow; seasons of growth and seasons of barrenness. Sometimes we welcome and expect the changing seasons, like with a marriage or the birth of a new child. Sometimes, the new seasons catch us by surprise, like with an injury or illness, or the sudden death of a loved one.  Sometimes the seasons are both expected and unwanted, like when a job change is necessary or a divorce seems inevitable.

We all seem to fare pretty well during the seasons where we feel like we are getting what we want and where we are in control to a certain degree. It is in the seasons where things are not going well and where we feel out of control that we struggle. What are we doing to make ourselves ready for seasons that stretch us or cause us pain? Because those seasons will come to all of us, and how we handle them is fundamental to our health and emotional well-being.

I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but God has taught me some lessons during this journey we call life.  Below are some lessons I’ve learned, and let me say up front that none of these changes in attitude or action are easy. I haven’t mastered any of them, but I do feel called to lean into them to the best of my ability, with God walking alongside me.

Remember that seasons are not permanent. Even in the case of the death of a loved one, though the loss will be permanent (here on earth), it will not affect us in the same way forever. Life will ebb and flow around it. God will work through it. Of course we will never forget the person we "lost" and the pain of separation will never completely leave us; however, there is no wisdom in hanging on too tightly to the intense pain of the experience and refusing to let God speak into our lives through it. He is always there, no more than a breath away, whether we feel His presence or not. Truth is truth, and He says He is with us always. Believe Him.

Don’t make a season of anger or fear a season of regret. Sometimes, life really doesn’t make sense. People we love and trust hurt us deeply. How we respond is incredibly important. As we all know, anger begets anger. When we hear those angry words spoken to us, words designed to cut us to our core, all we want to do is strike out and return the pain. Whether someone attacks our belief system or our family members or just digs into us personally, we want to react BIG and respond BIG and hurt BIG. We deserve to have that response, after all the pain the other person caused us, right?? God says no. God says pause. God says be still and know that He is God. The anger and the pain will only escalate if we respond in anger with the intent of inflicting pain. We will say words we don’t mean, words we can never take back. We will live with regret. This is an almost impossibly hard lesson in real time in real life, but it is worth the extreme effort it takes. God wants me to be the best possible me in the worst possible circumstances. He means it. The ideal response to words of anger is to forgive the offender and relinquish the pain to the Divine Healer. This doesn't mean we stay in unhealthy situations or put ourselves at risk - it only means that we take responsibility for our actions and responses in challenging times.

In seasons of distress, acknowledge the need for help.  Cry. The seasons will come and go and as they do, tears are essential. There will be tears of joy and tears of sorrow. Do not bury the pain. Feel it and let it be what it is. Let your friends be comforters. Let others know that you are struggling. Ask for meals or shopping dates or help with housework or babysitting or prayer or even just hugs – whatever it is you need. There is no shame in seeking professional help when the pain just won’t go away and the sadness won’t lift. And on the other side of this one, be on the lookout for your friends who are struggling. Be available to listen or hug or guide them to the help they need.

In seasons of joy, celebrate together. When there is joy in your life, share that as well. It’s OK if you are over-the-top happy with your new baby (or grandchild) or husband or kitty or puppy or bearded dragon or whatever! Life’s good moments are to be celebrated together. And when others share joy with you, embrace them and rejoice with them. Life is too short for us to be threatened by another person’s success or joy. Be encouragers. Be cheerleaders. Be crazy in love with your friends and family in a way they cannot overlook.

When all else fails, show love and kindness in every season. Here’s the deal. We are all in this together. We are a whole big world of people who disagree, who have differing value systems, and who have differing political views. Being mean to another person does not make you stronger. Posting a meme that states your view in a way that demeans the opposing view does not mean you are clever. Being kind and respectful is the best way to show God’s love. This involves LISTENING to people who disagree with you, without an agenda of getting a chance to tell the other person why they are wrong. It means HEARING them and LEARNING from them. This involves showing love to people who might not return it. This involves getting dirty and helping and being authentic. No one said that it would be easy to be kind. Well, maybe someone did, but the fact of the matter is that it often IS NOT easy at all. It is work, but it is work we are called to do.

There are more lessons God has taught me (I am a bit of a slow learner…), but I will stop here for now. I think it all comes down to the fact that I cannot make the world a better place unless I am willing to make myself a better person in all the seasons of my life. I know that will be a challenge for me for the rest of my days here on earth.  My best advice is to cherish the lessons (and the Teacher) and to be eager to learn what God has in store for you, even when it is hard; additionally, you should understand that you will fail, so learning how to forgive yourself and get up and try again (and again) is essential. Like I said, none of this is easy.

Oh, and one more thing: always remember – I love you.