What if?

I won't lie. It's been a tough couple of weeks. Distanced Easter was hard. We made the most of it, but it was still more time apart. Our pictures were taken at different times, with our spots marked out on the ground, and put together in a collage as if we were actually together. As if is not my favorite. We were following the rules and we were all healthy. It was not tragic or life changing, but it was sad.

The "silly" pose for our social-distancing world

The more serious pose for our Easter memory

That following week, discussions were held between my brothers and me. The Arnold family vacation at a resort “up north” was the topic of the discussions. That vacation has been a summer tradition since well before I was born, and three generations of family would have gathered together this year for a week in June. That's right, would have. We made the decision to cancel for this summer. Would have is not my favorite, either. It was the right decision at this time. We have too many risk factors in our family to gather way we have in the past. We moved our deposit to the same week next summer. It was not tragic or life-changing, but it was sad.

Arnold vacation when the kids were young

Arnold vacation just a few years back

This week, as I continued preparing materials for my preschoolers, I thought of all that might have been as we approach the end of the school year: the end-of-the-year field trips, the graduation ceremony with paper mortarboards, the dandelions picked joyfully and handed to me in love....Then we got the announcement that schools would not be meeting in person again this school year. Might have been is not my favorite. I really wanted to be able to say goodbye to all my precious preschoolers and to hug them and tell them it's all going to be OK. The decision was not a surprise. It was a difficult but wise decision for our community at large. It was not tragic or life-changing, but it was sad.

Unpicked dandelions

 

There are so many things, one after another, that fall in that category: not tragic or life-changing, but sad. I count myself blessed that the extent of my personal impact from these days of the coronavirus, so far, falls into that category. I know that the world is too closed down for some of my friends. Jobs and livelihoods are being impacted, sometimes shattered. I also know that the world is too opened up for some of my friends. The cost for that choice of “freedom” is endangering the lives of their vulnerable loved ones and adding burdens to the health care workers on the front lines who are already heavily burdened. We are miles apart in our interpretations of the data out there, miles apart in our world views, miles apart in the reason for our frustrations. Miles apart is not my favorite.

It seems that so many of us just want to be heard. We are sure if people simply HEAR us, then they will UNDERSTAND us and they will BELIEVE the same as we do. What if it is far more important to listen than to be heard? What if we all paused for just a moment (since we have the time to do that) and removed our agendas long enough to listen? What if when we spoke, we spoke from our hearts and were vulnerable rather than combative? What if we removed the sarcasm from our tone and replaced it with concern for the needs of people who don't agree with us? What if? You know what? What if is my favorite. And I do see those of you who are already doing life this way.

These are tough times for nearly everyone. Let's be part of the “What if?” movement. We have a chance to change the world or at the very least, to change ourselves.