It's Frolic Time

For the past 31 summers (1989 thru 2019), our family has been a fixture at the Oswego High School Theatre Alum Reunion. My husband attended Oswego High School (in Oswego, IL), graduating in 1980, and was a part of the theatre program there. Directors Dave and Donna Barnes were the driving force behind that theatre program, and when they got a lake house in central Wisconsin in the 1980s, they decided to open it up for a reunion. I have no idea if, from the beginning, they intended that it should be an annual event. I only know that it quickly became a highlight of our summers. I have been there every year except two, and my husband has been there every single year. Dave and Donna designated this reunion to be for alumni that were at least four years out of high school – the “oldies” alumni. The reunion soon became known as the “Frolic” and has evolved over the years. Dave and Donna were still teaching in the early years, and so each year a new group of former students became old enough to be added to the invitation list. This was a day for families, so spouses and children were added to the mix as the group aged up. Dave and Donna even tore down their original lake house and rebuilt on the same lot to better accommodated the type of reunions they wanted to be able to host.

A hundred or so people typically attend this reunion. The attendees all bring a dish to pass and a desire for a day at the lake. Dave and Donna bring a whole lot more than that. They spend weeks ahead of time figuring out how many to expect, so they know how much meat they need to get for the grilling. They order a lunch platter of meat and cheese and other sandwich fixings. They buy dozens of eggs and pounds of bacon and so much more to prepare a feast of a breakfast on Sunday. They figure out who would like to stay over night and where they can stay. They figure out the parking so a massive crowd can descend on a small lakeside lot without completely annoying all the neighbors. They have an almost endless checklist. They have a team. They PREPARE.

Our oldest was a year and a half when that first reunion happened. She is now 32, older than I was when we first started attending. So how does a reunion of people who have gone their own way after high school continue for so long? Dave and Donna spent three decades teaching and directing high school plays, double and triple casting shows so anyone who wanted to be involved could be involved. They retired in 2008, but they started devising ways of keeping people connected long before then. Back in the days when people wrote letters, they would post alumni letters on their classroom bulletin board. Then they started publishing newsletters several times a year to keep people up to date with other alumni. Quite simply, they are devoted to their former students and their families. They had no kids of their own, but they view their former students as family. WE view them as family. Our youngest child is named after Dave. I know that the lake is a draw for some who come to the reunion, but most of us come for THEM. They are the reason this reunion keeps going. It is so much more than just an annual weekend at the lake. It is a lifetime of relationship building and maintaining connections. It is their legacy.

Our David and the one and only David Barnes

Dave and Donna, enjoying our granddaughter

Group picture from last year's Frolic

So this year, when COVID-19 hit, one of the first things we thought about was the Frolic. Would Dave and Donna be able to have it? As part of the group that is always there, we were invited to take part in a discussion of the options they had. It was a heartbreaking decision for them, but we all agreed that an in-person gathering could not happen this year. We then became part of the Zoom Frolic Planning Committee. We met every Tuesday night for quite a few weeks, leading up to the Frolic. This weekend, the first-ever (and hopefully last-ever) OHS Theatre Alum Virtual Frolic will take place. I am positive it has brought many sleepless nights for both Dave and Donna. The nuances of doing the Frolic-from-afar are not in their wheelhouse. This pandemic has taken something that they had worked and reworked to a point of perfection and made into something uncomfortably unfamiliar. And yet...Dave and Donna are all about the connections. They are all about helping others connect, in addition to connecting with their “family” themselves. They have worked incredibly hard to make this into something with the heart of the Frolic.

It will be different, for sure. It will have hiccups, and it will not be perfect. There will likely be technical difficulties along the way. It will NOT have those yummy marinated chicken breasts, the buster bar dessert, or the Oh-Boy waffles. What it will have is Dave and Donna Barnes, all day long for two days, sitting in front of a computer and caring about others. If you are lucky enough to have people like this in your life, make sure they know how much you appreciate them.

Dave and Donna Barnes, you will rock this Virtual Frolic. Now is the time to let go of the details and let others be responsible for those. You just show up and be yourselves, and there is no way this Frolic will be anything less than amazing.

Hey, you two – I love you. Sleep well tonight, because we Frolic tomorrow.

(View a retrospective slideshow of previous Frolics here.)