Family Reflections

As this new year begins, I wanted to write a message of love and encouragement for my family. I have tremendous gratitude for the blessings God has given me here on this earth, and among the greatest of my blessings are my family members. This blog will be a bit longer than one of my typical entries, simply because I want to love on each one of those family members. They deserve it! Here I go….

R.J., I could never fully express how thankful I am for you and for the amazing life that we have built together. We married so young, you a mere 21 and I your elder at 23. Even though we were pretty well-grounded “kids” I would still say that we had very little idea what to expect from marriage. We learned a lot in those early years. We made many mistakes. I personally slammed a lot of doors. I think the thing we had going for us the strongest was our belief that marriage was forever. We learned along the way exactly what “for better or for worse” meant. We always talked things through, always came together after a disagreement, always fought past feelings of anger to get back to the feelings of love. When disagreeing is safe and agreeing is less important than understanding, then a marriage can really last like ours has done. Maybe that's wisdom and maybe it's just sap. I have been known to produce both.

In the end, I could not imagine myself with anyone but you. You are brilliant (but you already know that)! Your brain is very good at discernment. You are a man of deep faith and commitment to God. Your faith is anchored in knowledge, as you steep yourself in scripture and in Biblical reference materials. You sometimes come off as harsh to people who don't know you, and you may in fact be harsh at times. But you are also deeply loving and committed to doing the right thing. Money is far less important to you than family. Helping others is a part of the core of your being. You are creative. I love watching you act. It is one of my favorite things to see you immerse yourself in a role and get connected to the cast. It is a gift to get to watch you perform on stage. And one of the best stages of life yet has been grandparenting with you!

Thank you for a lifetime of love. Thank you for honoring God above all else. Thank you for all the work you have poured into our marriage. Thank you for being you.

Emily, I am so thankful for you. I remember the very moment we found out about you. It was a moment filled with the longing of a lifetime. I so completely wanted to be a mom, and the timing was wonderful. We had moved to Rochester with your dad's new job at AIC, and we were ready to start our post-college-days life together. Then you were born, and you fulfilled every one of my dreams. I would just hold you and stare at you, enjoying the perfection of you. As you grew, we discovered more about who God made you to be. I don't think we understood everything, but we did love your curiosity, your brilliance, your verbose-ness (verbositude?), and your tender heart. I think it is fair to say that you enchanted us.

I have never changed my feeling of enchantment about you. To me, you have always been perfect just the way you are. It brings me joy to see you and Eric together. The two of you truly do complete each other. You laugh and you encourage and you bemoan life's unfairness TOGETHER. That is how marriage should work. I know it has been a struggle to have Eric so sick for so long, but you two seem to manage to take full advantage of the good moments. I love seeing the way you both parent Ada. She is a huge cat blessing (in the literal and the figurative sense). I hope and pray for Eric's condition to improve. I am so glad that the two of you agreed to move in with us so we could all do life under one roof. It is a blessing to me to have you here. One of the biggest parts of that blessing is seeing you interact with Elle on an almost daily basis. You are the best Auntie Em ever! I am grateful for who you are.

Eric, I am so thankful for you. I have always been delighted by your clear devotion to Emily. I love your sense of humor and the general way you express yourself. You are the gentle giant of folk lore. There is also a big ache in my heart for you, Eric. I know that life is hard for you and that you would love for it to be different; and yet, your story is powerful. I know that your mental health issues are a part of you and likely always will be, but I have seen you make great strides in the last few years. I am so happy that we share a home and that you have a safe place to live. I hope for great things in your future, but what that looks like only God knows.

I love how you are with Ada. It reminds me of what a father instinct you have inside you. You want to show love and care to her. I remember back when you didn't even know what to think of a cat, and now you are a professional Ada-dad. I see those same instincts come out when you get to put on your uncle hat with Elle. She adores you, plain and simple, and it is easy to see that you think the world of her as well. Eric, I am so glad you were born. I am glad that you are a part of our family.

Joseph, you have been a delight to us from the moment we found out about you. I am so thankful for you. You made us a family of four and made Emily a big sister for the first time. I believe it was the role she was born for, and she loved to mother her little Jofus. As you grew, very little bothered you or even woke you up. You were an extremely even-tempered little guy! I loved being your mom and loved having you and Emily to hang out with me at home. You became a big brother before long, and you always had a special bond with your sister Laura. I loved seeing how the two of you teamed up to conquer tasks. That deeper friendship has continued into your adulthood, and that makes me smile.

You have grown up to be a remarkable man. I love that you became a DJ. The music part was always easy for you, but you worked hard to learn the banter part. That creative part of your life balances out the hard-work part of your job at UPS. I love how beautiful and amazing your original songs are, and your guitar playing always makes my heart happy. I love watching you with your niece Elle (and all the little cousins before her) and seeing how tremendously tender and devoted you are to her (and now to Liam as well). I have laughed myself silly at your quick wit and zingers you throw our way. The way your brain works amazes me. From you, I have learned that love isn't always showy, and a fist bump can mean more than a hug. You make me proud every single day.

Laura, I am so thankful for you! You were the child who meant that the adults were outnumbered in our family.  You, however, were a charmer right from the start. Your big brother and sister were instantly smitten, if sometimes overzealous in their love for you. Dad and I fell in love with your sweet smiles. As you grew, your expressive behavior, well-rehearsed in front of mirrors, was a source of entertainment for one and all.  You talked young and almost never stopped talking (or singing), if you believe your big sister Emily. You and Joe became best buds at a young age, and that warmed my heart. David's desire to squeeze you to death persisted throughout the ages and will likely persist forevermore. 

Laura, you have had a great deal of compassion from an early age. I don't remember a time when you couldn't find a way to put yourself in “the other person's” place and try to see things from their point of view. This came out in a humorous way when you couldn't stand seeing any focus on a losing team member, as that would ruin the sense of joy from the victory of your team. Most of the time it came through in your peace-making attempts with your siblings. You were level-headed, even as a teenager, and didn't really give in to all the drama that happened around you. Aunt Teri always said you had a way of making everyone you knew feel like they were your favorite. That is a gift, both for you and for all of the rest of the world. Your heart blesses me, and that heart is a big part of what makes you such an excellent wife and mom. The world is a more joyful place because you are in it.

Andrew, I am so thankful for you. When you first came into Laura's life, I know it was slow-going. Laura had her ideas about relationships, and she didn't want to move too quickly. It was the best thing ever to watch the two of you growing closer and closer. I know all of Kingdom Kids felt an investment in your relationship, as did much of the church staff at large. I love that you asked R.J. ahead of time about proposing to Laura. Some of my favorite pictures of you two are ones I took when you weren't paying attention. Instead, you were looking at Laura. The look you have for her is one of deep love, and that is something I am very grateful for. I love how you love my daughter. I have enjoyed seeing that same look of love that you give Laura present itself with Elle. She is going to be a strong woman because of the strong blend of love and discipline that she is receiving from her mom and dad. Now that we have added Liam into the mix, it will be a joy to watch you parent your son as well.

I also appreciate your character. You have shown us time and time again that you will make the right choice, even if it is a hard choice. You know how to have fun, too! I enjoy the way you fit into our family, with your passion for video games and for board games. One of my favorite things is when everyone is here for our Christmas celebration or even a Friday or Saturday afternoon board game time. I love listening to the conversations back and forth, and you fit right in with all the Traff craziness. That blesses my heart.

David, I am so thankful for you. You and I had a bond from the beginning because we are both youngest children. I was elated from the time we first found out about you. Four kids was my dream, and you made that dream come true. I know you were bombarded with attention from your three older (but still very young) siblings from the moment you came home from the hospital. Maybe that's part of the reason that from before you could talk, you were a storyteller. I remember you jabbering expressively to your cousins at Christmas, just after you turned one. They thought you were hilarious. Your imagination was boundless. It was one of my favorite things to go out on treasure hunts with you, or just to sit at home and pretend with you. I loved those two years we got after Laura went to kindergarten, just to pretend and play together. As you grew, your expressiveness grew as well. You became a great storyteller, a gifted poet, a talented pianist, and a capable actor. Each of these activities stretched you as you found your way to becoming who you are now.

I have enjoyed watching you grow into the man you now are. As your faith has grown, you have been diligent in working the intellectual side as well as the spiritual side of your belief. I respect that. I also enjoy your baking skills. You do a tremendous job at creating delicious desserts as well as fancy feasts. I have especially enjoyed watching you become an uncle. It is easy to see how much you love Elle (and now Liam) and how much she loves you – even if you were the other Uncle Joe for a while. I have learned so much from you, David - many things that are hard to even put into words. For starters, I have learned that arguments aren't terrible, as I once thought they were. I know you enjoy them, and I can see how they can be done respectfully. Most importantly, I learned that giant-sized, super tight hugs are the best. You love big, and I love being loved big.

Oh, my Elle-girl, I love you so! You light up my days, as you have from the minute I first knew about you. I am so glad that we live in the same town so we can see each other often. I love our time together. When your mama went back to work, I ended up taking care of you every afternoon during the school year. I would pick you up from daycare at church and bring you home. You were so tiny and precious. I think Rilla was a bit jealous of all the time you got on my lap at first, as she would try to get in there beside you (or on top of you) as I held you. I didn't know it was just the beginning of the friendship you two would have. As you started crawling around on the floor, Rilla was even more interested in you! I love how the two of you started nuzzling noses. You were learning how to treat a cat by “becoming” a cat.

Our every-day relationship continues to this day. You are an amazing little girl, Elle. You are so smart. I love watching you learn things. I love taking care of you and miss you on the days when I don't see you. I love hearing you talk about Jesus and watching your faith grow. You are my helper and my joy. I enjoy our times reading books together, exploring the world together, making up songs together, or just being together. I love being your every-day grandma, and I am forever grateful for who you are and who you are becoming.

Lovely little Liam, I don’t know you very well yet. That’s because you have only been out here among us for a couple of weeks! You are brand new and fresh from the arms of God. I am grateful for your life, for your tiny baby cuddles and snorts and wiggles. I am amazed at how precious each and every moment with you truly is. I can’t wait to see who you become in the days ahead, but I am savoring this time when you are tiny and new. You will always be perfect to Grandma.

There are so many more things I could write about each and every one of you, but this will do for now. Happy new year, family! I am so glad I get to do another year with you!