Wibbly, Wobbly Christmas Time

 “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

I am sitting here on this snowy morning, cozy under my Christmas blanket, communing with the ghosts of Christmas past. It was a snowy day 13 years ago today when my dad left behind his used-up earthly body to enter heaven’s glory. I remember that night clearly. The snow made it challenging to get to the care center in Chatfield where Dad lived his final years. I am glad we made it, though, so we could be there with him as he took his last breaths. The family members present held his hand and circled around him to pray him into heaven. It was heartbreaking to hear that final breath, wait for another, and know that it would never come – and yet it was beautiful at the same time. He was 90 years old, in pain, and ready for death, so that made it somewhat easier to let him go. In reality, I know that I never would have been ready to lose him. Nothing really makes that part any easier, but I keep his laugh, his big heart, and his sparkle close to me and let it guide me as I live my life.

A favorite picture of me and my dad

My mom also left this earth in December, during a snowstorm. That one was harder. She was in the hospital recovering from bypass surgery. We all thought she would be with us for many Christmases to come. It was December 19, 1999 when the hospital called me and told me to tell the family to get to the hospital. I remember every detail of that evening, the most devastating of which was telling my dad that his wife of 55 years was gone. That was one of the top five most difficult things I have done in my life. After 23 years, I still think of her joy. She was a kindergarten teacher for many years. Whenever we got a snow day, she got one too, and she would make it a blizzard party. We would do fondue or something else equally unexpected. She made hot cocoa from scratch, and we had amazing times together. And she loved Christmas so much! I could never not love the snow or the holiday just because of her death – instead I DO love it, because of her life.

A favorite picture of my mom and dad with the kids

My wonderful mother-in-law passed away on December 2, 2016. There was no snow storm this time, but her sudden passing took us by surprise as we entered the holiday season. That very night my husband, her son, had opening night of his first show after taking 20 years off from theatre. He had been cast as Scrooge in the Civic Theatre’s production of “A Christmas Carol” and he took the stage even with her passing that morning. Her death is also all mixed up in our Christmas memories. Remembering Barb means remembering all the Christmases she sewed beautiful outfits for our kids. She also had a love for this season. I remember her generosity, her creativity, and the love she had for her family.

A favorite picture of Barb and her boys, taken at Laura and Andrew's wedding in August, 2016

I always enter December knowing I will run into these ghosts of Christmas past. My decorations are a mix of old and new, some handed down from those very loved ones I miss so much. I expect the tears and almost “enjoy” them. That’s not exactly the right word, but the feelings that are stirred are good ones, and the tears are just an outward sign of the love that I have been blessed to experience. I know how good my life has been by how easily the tears fall.

My snowy view, and also my mix of ornaments & decorations, old and new

This year I have had a couple of distractions in December. Right now, I have strep for the first time in my life. I lived 63 years without it, and I would have been content to see that streak continue. I missed a day of school at a busy time when I would rather not have been gone. I hurt everywhere for a day or two, but antibiotics are a wonderful thing. I am on the mend. I also had an eye check-up this month where I was told that we will be monitoring a couple of eye conditions that could cause more trouble in the future, especially if they combine forces. Aging has its problems, for sure, but I trust the One who is writing my story. And I know from watching those who went before me that these bumps in the road are just that – bumps. Life is bigger and more joy-filled when I look beyond the obstacles and see the view of my blessings from the Lord: family and friends who light my way. Some of that light comes from my “ghosts” and of course even more from those who are here with me now. My gratitude overflows when our family gathers and I see the legacy begun by my parents. We had one of those gatherings at Thanksgiving, and just look at all those lovely, shining souls!

My mom and dad started something very, very good.

Whether this is a season of rejoicing or mourning for you, I pray that you will find peace in the presence of our Lord and Savior and comfort in the arms of friends and family. I love you, at Christmas and always, my friends!