It's Mother's Day
It’s Mother’s Day! I wanted to write a Mother’s Day post, but it's hard to focus my thoughts. Do I write about my own mom, gone from this earth over 23 years? Memories of her are mostly black and white. Audrey Donna Arnold was an amazing woman and mom, but the thoughts in my head are a bit cloudy after all these years without her here on earth. Still, if I think hard, I remember how it felt snuggling in next to her in a chair as a child, the touch of her soft skin, the kind laughter in her voice, and the way she took care of me, even as I became a mom. She was my mom, my kindergarten teacher, my mentor, and my biggest fan. I love the memory of her generosity and her optimistic view of people (except door-to-door salesmen). I love the way she loved me. I miss her.
In my small-town upbringing, there were actually quite a few women who invested in me and loved me as I grew up. Where would I be without Joann Gillespie, Myrna Little, Winnie Klockeman, and SO MANY more?! If you grew up in a small town, you know the extent to which friends really are family. When I recently made Joann’s recipe for rhubarb crunch, as written in the Fountain United Methodist Women’s Cookbook (from many years ago), I could imagine sitting with her and enjoying this delightful treat. I wish I had more pictures of all of those ladies, but I can picture each one in my head. Maybe Mother’s Day should encompass all those extra moms as well!
After all those Fountain moms, I was treated to another mom when I married R.J. My mother-in-law blessed me as well. We both enjoyed sewing and bonded over talk of fabric and sewing machines. Barb’s sewing skill far exceeded mine, and she was beyond generous with those skills. In her final years, when I spent a lot more time with Barb, I feel like our relationship blossomed into something even more precious. Barb is definitely worth celebrating this Mother’s Day! Ah, I miss her, too.
It’s possible I should write about my own life as a mom. I remember the joy of the birth of each child and the sorrow of a miscarriage. I still feel the pride of watching each of our children grow and change and become their own, amazing person. I wistfully think of those busy days when they were all little, wanting for just a moment to recapture the joy of their small hands grasping mine, their small voices talking with each other, or their small feet walking off to kindergarten for the first time. Oh, the fun we had on vacations with the Arnolds or road trips with just our Troupe! Being a full-time, stay-home mom brought so much joy and fulfillment to my life. My young-mom-life was far from perfect. I wouldn’t want to revisit all the mistakes I made, all the words I said in anger, or all the times I was distracted and unfocused in my mothering. But it’s easier to let those go, looking in the rearview mirror, than it was in the moment. I am grateful for the passage of time and for the gift of forgiveness.
I could write about how amazing it is to be the mom of adults! I am beyond blessed that all our “kids” are still local and we can (and do) get together often. I always look forward to vacations together and think it’s pretty amazing that they still want to vacation with us. Of course, we do pay, so…maybe that helps! As R.J. and I plan to celebrate our 40th anniversary with a trip to one of our favorite places (Prince Edward Island), we look forward to sharing that celebration with our family. We (all except Em & Eric) will spend a week together there in just 34 days. One of the absolute biggest joys in my life is that our “kids” all love each other, and that the two spouses fit in so well with everyone, too. I love hearing from each of them about daily life – joys or struggles. It is a privilege to pray for them.
This Mother’s Day might bring feelings of grief and regret or what-ifs in addition to joy. It brings a whole mix of feelings for me! Whatever it brings for you, I hope you know how much you are loved – not just by me, but by your Heavenly Father as well.
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