The Still Small Voice that Whispers "Go!"

If you’ve read my blog from its very beginning, you know that it all started with me getting ready to take a trip to Cambodia. I had a lot to process, and I needed this blog to sort through all my thoughts  - as I approached the trip, as I was in Cambodia, and after I came home. Once all that was completed, I just kept writing. In the end, I guess I always have a lot of thoughts to sort through. I like having a blog to share those thoughts.

In July of 2011, Marti Ogren and I boarded a plane at the Rochester, MN, airport to start our trip to Cambodia. I put my feet on the ground in Phnom Penh some 34 hours later. It was a stretch for me. The list of “firsts” was really long for a then 51-year-old. I got my first passport, took my first international flight, bought my first Keens, experienced my first “squatty potty” along with my first wet-room bathroom, got my first tuk-tuk ride, and so much more. I traveled with a group from Christ Community Church. We started out with a smaller group and then had a larger group (which included my daughter, Laura) join us a week or so later, in Siem Reap. We taught English camps in Phnom Penh and Siem Reap. I spent a lot of time just joyfully soaking up all God had for me while at the exact same time being completely out of sorts because I had nothing familiar to lean on. I was grateful for all the training our group did ahead of the trip, to familiarize ourselves with Cambodian culture and international travel (so as to avoid being “ugly Americans” as much as possible). I was grateful for prayer support from home. I was grateful for the ability to video chat from halfway around the world – not always high quality, but it made the trip so much more doable to have a connection to home.

Cambodia had my heart long before I went there. I was on a prayer team that spent time getting to know workers who were on the ground there. I felt a strong call to go, in spite of my discomfort with the reality of going. My framework for how I see the world was fundamentally changed by going on this trip. I will forever be grateful that I had the courage to go.

So here it is 13 years later, and I’m getting that tug on my heart and a whisper to "go" again. Christ Community Church will be sending a small team to Cambodia in February of 2025, and I plan to be part of that team. I’ll be going as a 65-year-old this time. I remember all the physical challenges so well. My feet and ankles were painfully swollen for a couple of days after the long flight. My gut didn’t always feel good. The heat made my head hurt some days. I didn’t sleep well on the hard mattresses. The emotional toll of being away from my husband and most of my family for three weeks was significant as well. I don’t think any of those things will be easier this time around, but I also remember the excitement of the adventure, the joy of meeting the Cambodian people, and the peace of relying on God completely for my strength. I remember singing hymns alongside my Cambodian brothers and sisters, I in English and they in Khmer, and thinking, “This must be what heaven is like – every tongue and every nation, raising voices to praise God.” I remember the choral prayers where everyone prayed out loud, together, at once in a pouring out of our hearts before God. I remember orphan children letting our group know they had been praying for us as we traveled. I have so many precious memories. 

Right after arriving in Cambodia, ankles still swollen

I loved the way they prayed for us.

English campers, singing enthusiastically 

Marti and me, with our driver, getting ready for a tuk-tuk ride

I know this trip will not be a duplicate of my previous trip. The flights will still be long and the heat will still be oppressive for this Minnesota girl, but there will be a different group of people going, and we have a different idea for what our itinerary will look like. And however much we plan, we know that God will be the architect of our actual itinerary. God will have unique things for each of us to learn, unique ways for each of us to grow. I guess I’ll have to wait to see what He has in store. 

The trip is still more than 7 months away, so it might seem like I’m thinking too much about it at this point. That’s entirely possible, and it does sound like me. But I’d appreciate your prayers along the way, for me and for each member of our team – some of whom might not yet know they are going. May we all listen for the still, small voice that whispers, “Go.”