A Love Remembered

June 8 is my parents' wedding anniversary. Audrey Anderson married Charles Arnold in 1944, 68 years ago. I have published these words of their love story before, in different formats, but I thought I would publish them again here in honor of their anniversary. I love thinking about them young and in love.

Audrey's thoughts on her courtship and wedding with Charles (written in 1994):

Shy Audrey

Charles and I first became acquainted when I was a freshman from the Fountain area.  Sometimes, those of us who rode the old bus to Preston would see this boy riding his horse in the same direction. He'd even race the bus occasionally.  That was Charles.  He rode that horse every day, kept it in a barn in town and walked from there to school.  Often he was late if he didn't get a good start.  Charles was a year ahead of me in school, and so he had a great time when we lowly freshmen were initiated.  If an upperclassman snapped his fingers, freshmen had to bow.  Charles enjoyed snapping at me, and I thought he was mean.  I think my auburn hair made me more visible.  I was very shy and didn't want anyone to notice me.

Since we were in different grades, we didn't see much of each other until 1937 when Mother and Dad bought the farm where Gene and Helen live now.  The Arnolds were neighbors on up the road.  Our mothers became friends.  Our fathers respected each other but didn't have much in common.  We joined in the neighborhood activities and had a good time - group fun, no dating.  Charles had graduated from high school in 1937.  He stayed home working on the farm and for neighbors occasionally until 1941.  I went to Preston Normal after graduating from high school in 1938.  So in the fall of 1939, I started teaching in a rural school, District 17 in Mower County.  I was the fire builder and janitor as well as teaching children in all eight grades - a lot of work.  Think of the lesson plans!  I taught in this school for six years.

           

During this period of time I remember one summer night when Charles and a friend took my friend and me out for a drive in one of their parents' car.  Our treat - the men bought two pints of ice cream and spoons, and we all stood by the car and visited and ate.  Now that was probably a date!

             

Audrey and Charlie, young and in love

In 1941 Charles was drafted by the selective service.  He passed his physical and decided to sign up for a four year stint with the army air corps rather than be in the regular army.  This was on December 1.  On December 7, Pearl Harbor was attacked and World War II began for the U. S. A.  Charles was stationed in Texas, first at Foster Field, Victoria, Texas and later at Matagorda Peninsula, a bombing and gunnery range in the Gulf of Mexico.  He wrote to me more and more often as time went by, and of course, I answered.  When he came home on furloughs, we dated, and gradually romance developed.  In April 1943 he proposed and I accepted.  In 1944, he kept suggesting in his letters that we should get married when he came home in June.  Those were scary times.  Several young men had lost their lives overseas.  However, on Sunday night, June 4, we decided that we would get married at the Preston Methodist Church on the 8th.  Imagine how my mother felt!  She had only four days to get everything ready for our reception.  I'm glad none of you did anything like that to us.

             

Nellie Mangan, Bob Mangan's mother, made our cake, complete with a bride and groom she constructed for the top.  The regular pastor was at annual conference.  Consequently we asked Reverend Siniff, a retired Methodist minister and friend of the Arnolds. He had baptized Charles, Victor and Esther and was delighted to marry us.  The church was decorated with garden flowers by Mrs. Frank (Millie) Ashton and Mrs. Claude (Lola) Cutler.  Lola sang a solo.  I wore a short sleeved summer suit and Charles, his uniform.  Marjorie and Victor were our attendants.  My corsage was a gardenia.  It was a gray day with showers.  Mom and Dad had a very nice reception for the friends and relatives we had invited - not a big crowd.

I love how Mom looks positively giddy in this picture.

After lunch, we borrowed Charles' father's car and drove to Rochester, stopping at a motel for a short honeymoon.  Tires were rationed, and Ray's weren't in good condition.  I believe we had three flats before we returned.  On Saturday night there was a big shower for us at the town hall.  We received many lovely and useful gifts - from Fostoria dishes to pie plates (eleven of them, and I didn't know how to make a pie at that time).  Also we received many towel sets, all of which we used.  My parents gave us a small chest of drawers which I still use.

Charles had to take the train back to Texas on Monday, and I had to go to summer school before I could join him for the last of July and August.

And from Charles, when asked for wedding day memories (written in 2007): 

I went down the street with the back door open on the car. Maybe my mind was elsewhere. When I think about those days….You know, we didn’t have money – I had just barely enough to get back to camp, and none in the bank. I don’t think anybody could have started with less than we had. I hadn’t laid up any money before I went in to the service, and in the army you pretty much spent everything from month to month. I started out making $30/ month, then $66, but was making $75 by the time we got married. Mother started teaching school for about the same ($75/month) and had to pay board and room ($2-$3/week) out of that.

Mom passed away on December 19, 1999. Dad joined her in heaven just ten days shy of ten years later, on December 9, 2009. Here is the message I delivered at my dad's funeral, remembering Mom and Dad's wonderful legacy:

I have in my possession a love letter sent by my dad to my mom, dated November 23, 1945. Mom and Dad were married in June of 1944, when Dad was home on furlough from the army, and my oldest brother, Steve, was born on October 1, 1945. Dad had apparently sent Mom and his infant son back “home” to Minnesota ahead of him, as he prepared to leave his base in Texas. And he missed them. The letter starts out, “My Dearest Sweetheart Darling Audrey and Stevie,” and continues with news from around the base. Then Dad gets more personal. “I feel a little cheered up tonite as I got two letters from you and one from my mother today but all they do is make me want to get home sooner. I’ll bet that even just this week, and it isn’t a whole week either, that Stevie has changed some. This week has already been a month long and there is some left yet. I guess that your dumb old husband got excited and didn’t use good sense when he sent you home. Next time I get ready to do something dumb like that knock my ears down or refuse to go….” The letter ends with about 50 x’s (kisses) – some designated for Mom and some for Stevie – and an “I love you.”

Until I found that note, I never would have suspected that my dad was capable of writing that type of letter – although, he did write me a love letter one time. In the envelope with his hand-written note were my license plate tabs for the car I drove in college. His note said, “Put these on while they’re in your hand.” If that’s not love, what is?

Charles and Audrey Arnold had a full life. They were married for over 55 years before Audrey started feeling sick at a card party during the Christmas season of 1999. She ended up at the hospital with a minor heart attack, and tests revealed that heart bypass surgery was necessary.  As they wheeled her off to surgery, Dad fought back tears and joked, “We don’t often go on separate vacations.” He still felt the same as he did all those years before, when his “dearest sweetheart darling Audrey” went on ahead back to Minnesota with little Stevie. Several days later, after seemingly coming through the surgery quite well, Mom passed away. She went on another journey without Dad, one into eternity in heaven. Dad was completely heartbroken, devastated at the thought of going on without the love of his life. He commented that, “This was not the way it was supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to go first. She was the strong one.” But he was stronger than he thought. He was a survivor, and he did his best to enjoy life for the both of them. Still, these have been a long ten years without her – like that week that seemed like a month way back in 1945. Dad rarely complained, even when his pain grew intense. Every part of me knows that he was ready to join Mom again, and was getting impatient at the waiting. The waiting is over, my dearest sweetheart darling daddy. I miss you already, but I know that the heavenly reunion you are experiencing is a thing of beauty, and I’m glad for you that you finally finished the journey.  

Taken in October, 1999 - last great pic of the two of them together

Mom and Dad, I miss you. This is a day I tend to think of you together, and imagine you young and free from physical encumbrances in heaven. I am thankful for the wonderful example you were to all of us of lives well lived, and a marriage of love and integrity.