Happy 55th Birthday, My Love!

On this day fifty-five years ago, my dear husband was born. He and I have been connected for 35 of those years, with friendship and dating included, and I’ve come to know a few things about him that the general public may or may not know. He isn’t a big talker, so you may have missed some of this information. In honor of his 55^th birthday, I am going to share five of my favorite things about the sometimes elusive R.J. Traff.

Let’s start with the name. He has been R.J. (stands for Robert Joseph) since college but was Bob or Bobby (or Bobby Joe or Joe, to his mom) before that time. As he started college, he decided he wanted to start fresh with his name. He prefers if people who knew him as Bob call him Bob and people who know him as R.J. call him R.J. (When you try to switch, it just sounds wrong!) I am pretty much the only one who is allowed to switch back and forth, depending on the crowd we are in. It’s always interesting on the rare occasions when the Bob and R.J. crowds are combined, say at a wedding or a funeral. I get a little dizzy, trying to remember what to call him, based on whom I am talking to. And people often look confused as well, when they first hear him referred to by a different name. This is a lightweight fact, though, as most people who have known R.J. for any length of time have encountered this Bob phenomenon.

Little Bobby Traff on an earlier birthday

Fact number two: R.J. is a poet. Actually, he is a very good writer of both prose and poetry. He can write an intellectual treatise on many subjects. He can weave together a delightful story. Additionally, he has written some wonderful poetry, both for me and for the kids, on occasion. Here is a perfect example of his humor and his creative writing skills, woven together masterfully.

Liz’s Christmas Present

By R.J. Traff (2003)

I don’t love potatoes,

But I do love you,

So I eat them baked or fried.

I don’t love perspiring,

But I do love you,

So I do some work outside.

I don’t love camping,

But I do love you,

So I go down to the farm.

I don’t love parties,

But I do love you,

So I try to flex my charm.

I don’t love cats,

But I do love you,

So I let you keep “Miss May.”

I don’t love flowers,

But I do love you,

So I send the odd bouquet.

I don’t love travel,

But I do love you,

So I drive wherever we roam.

I don’t love shopping,

But I do love you,

So I hope you like this poem.

Merry Chrsitmas!

(‘cause I do love you)

My next tidbit about the birthday boy is fairly well-known. He is a life-long learner and a voracious reader. He reads all types of literature, from systematic theologies to comic books, with romances, mysteries, adventures, epics, classics, and so much more, in between. He doesn’t just read, though, he reads critically. He reads news and has an incredibly discerning spirit. He sifts through truth and trash and rejects many items where he would agree with the conclusion, simply because the author’s process in arriving at that conclusion was flawed. He cannot turn off his brain, so he is always analyzing what he reads and what he hears. Sometimes that interferes with his enjoyment of simple things in life, but it is a part of who he is. With his theatrical training, he reads aloud beautifully. He often read to the kids as they were growing up, and more famously, he read the Anne of Green Gables books aloud to me as we prepared for our trip to Prince Edward Island four years ago. The sweetest part of listening to R.J. read aloud is that he often has hard time reading emotional passages. He chokes up and has to pause in order to continue.

 

Reading to/with our oldest, at a young age

The fourth thing I want to mention regarding R.J. is his extreme integrity. He is honest to a fault. It’s not that he never makes mistakes; it’s more that he holds himself and others accountable to a high standard. If there is a law available to follow, he will follow it. He drives the speed limit. He reports all income on tax forms. He pays for items when an illicit copy of the same item is available for free. He simply refuses to take the easy way out of any scenario if it means shortchanging the truth. He has a broad knowledge of where “lines are drawn” and refuses steadfastly to step over those lines.

The final aspect of R.J. that I will mention here is his generosity. He is careful with money and helps me to be careful as well. That attitude is not so that we “have the most toys when we die.” The thriftiness he displays is because he wants to feel free to give generously when a worthy need arises. He doesn’t need or want credit for his giving. He simply wants to hold loosely to the things of this earth. He could get by with very little and sometimes may despair a little at the huge amount of “things” that I have acquired. Most things of this earth – like fancy clothing, expensive cars, big houses, or lots of recreation equipment – mean nothing to R.J. I think he would be perfectly content if all he had in this world was a bed, a computer, a tablet (for reading), and a comfy chair. (OK, indoor plumbing and kitchens are nice as well, but you get the idea.)

There are many more facets to the personality and character of Robert Joseph Traff, but that’s enough for one blog. He’s a pretty amazing guy, and I am proud to be his wife. Happy 55^th birthday, my love!

Us, over the years