Oh, the Chaos

Oh, the chaos of my mind – and my surroundings – right now! It is typical for me to live life in a kind of ever-tilting world, with many plates spinning at once. My laptop browser perpetually has too many tabs open. My many projects pile up in some sort of sequence, partially completed but not enough to be put away. My beginnings and endings are all muddled together, wrapped in great intentions but leaking out in messy realities. When things get like this, my first instinct is to go for a walk and avoid it all.

My dining room table is full of Barb's things and ours, all mixed together.

Same story on the buffet

For real, I did not open anything extra "for effect" - this is how I live.

OK, so that’s not a practical approach. I realize this fact. Correcting a problem is much more difficult than realizing there IS a problem. As someone who is often introspective, the realization of my shortcomings and even problems comes easily. The real question is, am I ready for a change? Can I focus on any one thing long enough to see the project through to completion? As I thought about this issue with which I seem to continually contend, I was reminded of a long-ago day when my children were young. (I wrote the story down at the time, so the memories remain clear.)

One very early morning, my then 2-1/2-year-old son was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a glass of water and preparing to go back to bed until the sun came up.  He was especially cheerful, so I knew the odds of his going back to sleep were remote.  Still, I reached out my arms to him and beckoned him to come to me while I said to him, "David, it's time to go back to bed.  Are you ready to obey me?"  He, in turn, nodded, smiled sweetly and said, "Not yet."

Sweet, two-year-old David

I am reminded, as I look back on this experience, of what a child I am in God's eyes.  He looks at me, His eyes full of love and says, "My Child, I know what's best for you.  I have great things in store for you.  Are you ready to obey me?"  All too often, I am distracted by worldly thoughts or pleasures.  My chaos definitely interferes with God’s higher purposes. I acknowledge God's presence and think I am in communication with Him, but in reality, my response to His call is, "Not yet."  I seem to believe that prayer alone is enough, without realizing my obligation to submit to Him and to act according to His guidance. 

I want to learn to pray with completion, from beginning to end, not just asking for the Lord's guidance but accepting it willingly and applying it earnestly when He gives it. I want to put an end to my chaos so I can listen to His quiet. The problem is…I also want to go for a walk and avoid it all. God requires me to work, but fortunately for me (and for you, too) He will be right there alongside me (and you, too). Let me resist the urge to say, “Not yet,” and simply reply, “YES, LORD!”