Another New Year

Happy New Year! I don’t know about you, but I have noticed that the years seem to come around quicker than ever as I keep on getting older. Regardless, it seems that with the change of the calendar, now is the time to make resolutions. I have a whole series of resolutions that I typically THINK about making: developing more spiritual discipline, taking better care of my health, finding more family time, serving others in new ways, and maybe traveling a bit more. I have plans for all of these, but I know from experience that I don't always follow through on my plans. Instead of pursuing these specific goals, I think that this year, I will try to develop better life strategies that will serve me well in all these areas.

For one, I am incredibly distracted these days. Maybe I can blame social media or the new cat or something besides myself, but I think focus will help me in many areas. I often have trouble maintaining enthusiasm for a goal for more than that first month of the year. At the preschool, I have one student who, when asked to come write letters with me, will often reply, “Why?”(insert mournful tone). (Aside: Do I sound like that to God? Oh, I hope not!) In many ways, I am like that student. Knowing the reason I am doing things is important. What if I posted a list of the reasons I am doing something new, something that is not yet a habit? Might that help me continue to work at it for more than a month? I like lists and have tried them in the past, but this is not the kind of list I typically make. I just list the tasks and cross them off as they are accomplished. This list would be an ongoing reminder of my motivations. The very act of making a list also does something to the pathways in my brain that can be very helpful. I guess I’ll try to be Santa this year, “making a list and checking it twice….”

There is a kitty-distraction to my focus every time I sit down. (And I love it.)

Communication is important as well, as many of my desired outcomes involve others. My Minnesota nice mindset slips very easily into Mom-driven passive aggressive communication. I do not want my adult children or my husband to think of me as manipulative, so I need to watch my words carefully. I found a list of “passive aggressive phrases” and am working on eliminating a couple of them that I tend to use. One enlightening element of the list was that some phrases I use in a non-passive-aggressive way might be interpreted differently than I intend, which is important information. As far as the ones I really need to watch, the major offenders are, “Thanks in advance” (basically a command to do what follows it) and “I was confused about…” (meaning – I’m sure I must be confused, because if you really think this, you are CRAZY). I believe that being aware of these phrases and modifying my behavior accordingly will greatly improve my communication. Another part of my communication lesson is learning to wait. One goal is that when I write a difficult note or letter, I will wait at least a day before sending it. I will read it again with fresh eyes and revise accordingly. I might need to seek wise counsel as well, to determine if my words actually communicate my thoughts. With the spoken word, this can be more tricky. Being slow to speak is definitely a lifetime goal of mine, which I am constantly refining.

Communicating well with my family is very important to me.

I had a physical last Friday. I had several warts that needed to be removed: one from each foot and two from the pointer finger of my right hand. I also needed a flu shot and a tetanus booster. Naturally, I saved up all these things for my appointment, and naturally the immunizations each went in a different arm. The next day, I woke up feeling 110 years old, with both arms, both feet, and my right hand all aching. The only thing that moved freely and without pain was my left hand. Everything else was in stiff, sore, and miserable. I tend to apply this principle in many areas of my life. I save things up until there are so many that nothing can be accomplished without great pain. While I often get a lot done in my moments of necessity, I always think how much nicer it would be to do these tasks at a more leisurely pace or with less intensity. By procrastinating, I take an easy task and make it more difficult. I can also take a difficult task and make it seem insurmountable, which is definitely not helpful. This year, I am going to try not to do that to myself. I will take one thing at a time, one day at a time, with grace for mistakes made along the way.

Most of us enjoy learning new things. I am the same. I do enjoy it, but sometimes I forget to investigate new ways of doing something that I have been doing for a long time. I get in a rut, so to speak. I need to “think outside the box” more often. I want to ask more questions and ask better questions. I read an article that was designed for helping programmers think outside the box. I am about the furthest thing from a programmer that exists. However, some of those tools could help me as well. The three that I found the most useful were: 1. Don't make assumptions. I think I get bogged down in what I already know and assume things will continue to operate as they have in the past. Change happens, and I don’t want to ignore that possibility in my investigations. 2. Don't forget the goal. Oh, this one is easy to do! (Forget the goal, I mean.) I get so bogged down in the details that I ignore the big picture. I want to stay away from that.  3. Don't assume someone is too inexperienced to help. I can apply this to life in general, but it seems ideally suited for my job. The brilliance of preschoolers is amazing. Letting them in on difficulties in the classroom could be a great way to get some new ideas!

Investigating is exciting.

One of the many ways to develop all of these areas of my life is to pray more. Praying daily is essential. I think we all struggle in one way or another with this one. There are all the tried and true “helps” that I have used and abused over the years: pick a specific place to pray, carve out a specific time of day, write down your prayer requests and answers….These are all important and they all work to some degree, but I wanted to infuse something new into this area this year. I wanted to pray better and stronger; however, the more I thought about this, the more silly it sounded. The response to my prayers is not based on my abilities as a pray-er. I found this outstanding reminder in an article I read on effective prayer: “Prayer is effective, not because of great men who pray, but because of a great God who in Christ graciously hears his people.” In other words, folks, it’s not about me. I needed that reminder. I am intent on praying to a God who hears and acts on behalf of His people. God builds my relationship with Him through prayer, and that is not to be taken lightly. Being connected to my Father's greatness is a precious gift; therefore, I want to pray more and keep my motivations where they belong.

Focus. Communicate. Don’t procrastinate. Investigate. Pray. That’s a handful, and it’s probably enough. May the Lord bless you and keep you in 2018!

As always, remember that I love you.