Messages from Mom

I have written about how the circumstances surrounding my dad’s death relate to my impending trip to Cambodia, but I think my mom also has her fingerprints on this journey. My mom has been gone since December 19, 1999. It has been a long time since I could ask her opinion or advice on raising my kids, hear her laughter, or count on her prayers on my behalf.  I still ache at the thought of all she missed, all I missed by not having her here for the last 11-plus years. But now I want to focus on the impact she had on my life in the 40 years she did mother me here on earth.

My mom with my kindergargen class. I'm front and center.

I am fond of saying “almost everything I needed to learn about life, I learned from my kindergarten teacher – who also just happened to be my mom.” Yup, I was doubly blessed; not only was Mrs. Arnold my kindergarten teacher, she was also my mom. Maybe my opinion is slanted, but I think that most people who knew my mom would say she was a gem. Who she was has shaped who I am, and I feel blessed to be a child of her later years.  She knew a lot by the time I knew her.



Audrey in her cap and gown



Back in the day when my mom became a teacher, she went to something called “Normal School” to get her teacher training. She originally taught in the same type of one-room schoolhouse as she had attended, just a couple years earlier. Before kindergarten was a part of the American educational culture, mom taught something called spring primary.  Education kept evolving, and she began teaching half-day kindergarten in the Fountain Elementary School. My brothers were in college when my mom went back to college to get her Bachelor’s degree in teaching, with a kindergarten specialty. It was hard work, taking night classes and summer school, all the while being a working wife and mother. Interestingly, she was not required to go back to school in order to keep her job; her experience was sufficient that she could have taught all the way to retirement on that alone. She went back to school to broaden her knowledge and make herself a better teacher. We were all extremely proud when she graduated from Winona State College. As I am reading and doing homework to learn about Cambodia in preparation for my trip, I think about all the hours my mom spent studying for her degree. Learning will always be a big part of my life, as it was of hers.

One thing my mom never learned was how to drive. It wasn’t uncommon for women of her era, but because of that, she had to depend on others to get places. Sometimes it was Dad, sometimes it was one of us kids, and sometimes it was friends. She humbled herself and asked for rides to get to everything, from church meetings to school events. Of course, since everyone knew Audrey couldn’t drive, people often called to offer her a ride. Sometimes she would get multiple calls for single events. She was a pleasant, interesting person to have with you in a car (as long as you were not one of her sons, learning to drive….but that’s another story!). I think back to all the conversations Mom and I had in the car because she couldn’t drive herself anywhere, and I feel blessed. I wonder how many other people had that experience with her. Acts of service often turn out that way, to be more of a blessing for the one serving than for the one being served. I am almost certain that’s how Cambodia is going to be. I will be serving at English camp, teaching English to students who have practically nothing in worldly terms. However, I know that I will be the one learning from them,  just like I was the one blessed when my mom needed me to chauffeur her somewhere.

 It was funny to see Mom exasperated, because it happened so rarely. (A door-to-door salesman could do it.) A huge lesson I learned from my mom was the value of remaining calm and unflappable in almost any circumstance. When you can see humor in a situation, even humor at your own expense, life is just a little bit nicer for everyone around you. While it will never get you money or fame, I see that as a worthy accomplishment. Mom preferred to see the world as a joyful place, and I have whole-heartedly adopted that philosophy.  I am so thankful for this opportunity to go to Cambodia. I know the road will not always be smooth, but the scenic routes are more interesting in the long run.



Dad and Mom, having fun with grandkids Laura, Joe, and Em



Mom loved little children and always had the capability of seeing the world through the lens of child-like wonder. She knew how to have an adventure if ever a mom/kindergarten teacher did. Joy comes in the little things: a starry night, a campfire, a beautiful song, a raging blizzard, a cup of coffee with a friend, a lake-view, a sunset…unexpected or ordinary, my mom could find joy in it. This is why small children loved her as well. She took them seriously and understood all the mystery and surprises that this big, old world holds. Mom gained energy from her experiences with her students and even more so, with her grandchildren. I think she gave me a direct infusion of that love for children. One of the things I look forward to most in this trip is meeting the children, especially the ones at the orphanages. My heart is full just thinking about it. Oh, I need to be there with them; sometimes July seems just too far away.

Thank you, Mom, for all you have given me to prepare me for this trip. I wouldn’t be doing it without the profound influence you have had on my life. I’m closing with the words of one of your favorite songs, the one you would always ask us “kids” to sing for you. I love you.

Freely, Freely (God Forgave My Sin) by Carol Owens

God forgave my sin in Jesus' name
I've been born again in Jesus' name
And in Jesus' name I come to you
To share His love as He told me to

He said: 'Freely, freely, you have received
Freely, freely give
Go in My name, and because you believe
Others will know that I live.'

All power is given in Jesus' name
In earth and heaven in Jesus' name
And in Jesus' name I come to you
To share His power as He told me to