Charlie and Audrey Arnold

My parents were married on June 8, 1944. The world was an uncertain place then. Audrey Anderson and Charlie Arnold had been engaged since April of 1943. Dad was home on furlough. As mom told it, on Sunday night, June 4, they decided that they would get married at the Preston Methodist Church on June 8. Those were scary times.  Several young men, including her sister’s fiancé, had lost their lives overseas.   Charlie and Audrey executed an entire wedding in just four days, and keep in mind that Tuesday, June 6, 1944 (smack in the middle of those four days), was D-Day. That’s quite a distraction! It doesn’t take much imagination to romanticize their early days. I love rereading Dad’s memories from that time as well. When asked about his wedding day memories, he said, “I went down the street with the back door open on the car. Maybe my mind was elsewhere. When I think about those days….You know, we didn’t have money – I had just barely enough to get back to camp, and none in the bank. I don’t think anybody could have started with less than we had. I hadn’t laid up any money before I went in to the service, and in the army you pretty much spent everything from month to month. I started out making $30/month, then $66, but was making $75 by the time we got married. Mother started teaching school for about the same ($75/month) and had to pay board and room ($2-$3/week) out of that.” I know I have written these memories here before, but it gives me a lot of joy to think about them again on their anniversary.

Charlie and Audrey, through the years....

 My parents celebrated a lot of anniversaries together – 55, to be exact – before my mom passed away in December of 1999. R.J. and I will celebrate our 34^th anniversary in just over a week. When my parents celebrated their 34^th anniversary, back in 1978, I had just graduated from high school, as I came into their lives well after their newlywed days. I learned so much from them about what it means to have a good marriage. They were devoted to each other. They enjoyed each other’s company, laughed at each other’s jokes, and shared each other’s life goals and dreams. While they argued occasionally, they never resorted to casting insults at each other. Each was independent and did many things on their own, but they also knew how to have fun together. They took retirement seriously, and knew that time on earth was limited. Their travels have long inspired me and I think our whole family. R.J. and I want to spend time enjoying each other and seeing more of this beautiful world together, and we’re not waiting until our retirement years to begin the adventure. My parents taught me that.

Mom has been gone for over seventeen years, and Dad for over seven. There are so many times I would love to ask them their thoughts on different issues, but most of all, I would just like to spend time with them and hear their stories. I would like to help them get their meals at family functions. I would like to watch the sparkle in their eyes as they witness their legacy – children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren gathering together regularly and loving on each other. Family was truly important to them. They rejoiced in the good times and mourned in the sad times, always looking heavenward when no earthly answers were possible. That example has been my constant guide. I think of Mom and Dad often as we parent our adult children. I wish Mom could have watched them grow up.  Dad got a bit more time with us, but even he missed out on so much. As we are preparing to go on our family vacation in a week, I have been thinking about how wonderful it would be to have them with us one more year: to see one more set of lakeside sunsets with them by our side, to sing around the campfire with them, to share hugs, to watch them watch us….

Arnold family vacation, a number of years ago...

Of course, none of that is going to happen. Life is linear. As a Christian, my belief in heaven helps ease the pain of earthly losses. The point I want to make right here is that I need to fully experience and appreciate these days with family and friends. Not to be morbid, but not one of us knows how many earthly days we will get. Life is precious, and memories of bygone days are dear. So…let your family and friends take your picture. Write down a few memories. Tell stories. Hold hands. Hug. Travel. Leave a legacy of love and joy and adventure (when possible), and don’t leave your love unexpressed. I’m pretty sure that’s what Charlie and Audrey Arnold would say. I’m certain it’s how they lived their lives, and I’m so very thankful for their example. Love you, Mom and Dad! 

Charlie and Audrey, around the time they married and again in October of 1999.